COWLAND AGONIZES IN GREAT ANGUISH: A satirical adaptation from Kapelwa Musonda Online - Aka Bulozi London

25 February 2018

We are like a herd of cattle trapped in a thorny fenced kraal.

We previously grazed freely until sometime in 1964 when the previous neighboring farmer, Kadansa, sweet talked us into gathering in a Bantustan Kraal.

We stampede around searching for an opening only to gather at the same spot we started from.

The kraal is hedgy and will only bruise us badly if we attempt to break free.

Some of the more courageous bulls charge through the fence only to be bruised and battered.

Some die in an attempt to escape from this bondage.

The thorny hedge remains resolute and steadfast.

Farmer Lulu keeps some bull-terrier dogs circling the Kraal as a reminder of his domination.

Farmer Lulu says the herd will starve to death if further attempts are made ‘ku punya mulaka’ (breaking free) as there is no food out there.

“You are lucky that I can feed you from the bales of hay I have rationed for you,” retorts Lulu!

“I intend to construct water troughs for you, so your calves can have access to fresh drinking water,” he treacherously promises.

Some of the meek ones in the herd are now eating from farmer Lulu’s hand urging others to follow suit.

“Muka shwa tala. Let’s just eat what farmer Lulu blesses us with, lest we starve!” They mock the rest.

It is rumored that farmer Lulu is using some of our hijacked cattle as oxen to till his farm far beyond the Kafue river. They are made to work day and night under very hostile conditions tilling farmer Lulu’s commercial farms without rest or pay.

A storm gathers. It rains. The kraal is flooded. The animals move the head-bull to a raised part of the Kraal to save him from the floods.

“We must safeguard the head-bull,” they chorus as they dutifully push the head-bull to safety.

It is the only one with the capacity to charge through this enclave to clear the way for its herd to walk to freedom.

However, some say the head-bull is compromised by ruminating prime cud supplied by farmer Lulu whilst majority of the head forages for dry twigs.

Others say the head-bull has no stomach for a fight because ‘Ki Singungunya ba sitimile manaka,’ referring to his hornless head.

Other animals close to the head-bull claim it also grieves privately in sorrow and pain for its cattle mates, but cannot display such emotions to all and sundry in Cowland!

“It is a sign of weakness for the head-bull to shed tears in ‘Cowblic’,” they chorus in his defense, assuring all in Cowland that he does, in fact, shed tears in private concerning the sorry state of his cow mates.

The young bull calves are agitated lamenting that the head-bull needs to show leadership and sacrifice by storming the kraal and all will follow in a stampede chasing farmer Lulu right until he bolts across the Kafue River.

“Ring the Maoma, Cowbell, and we will all raise our hooves and sharpen our horns to fight for Cowland!” They impatiently urge the aged custodian of the Maoma drums.

EPILOGUE! Maybe, just maybe! One glorious day soon, Cowland will be absolutely free!

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