Dr Pepper Found in Possession of Coke

28 October 2014
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For immediate release: Coke is it?

(ACPA-Dallas) The Soft-Drinks Industry is reeling with the news that high profile CEO Dr. Pepper has been found in possession of Coke. Pepper was stopped for speeding on Highway 121 in Plano, Texas, but what started as a routine traffic stop quickly escalated after officers shined their flashlights into his car and saw evidence of Coke-usage.

An African American, Dr Pepper took solace from support from Al Sharpton- pic from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Dr_perpper_75_2.jpg licence=gfdl v 1.2 user-linuxeris According to a Plano Police report, "after the officers engaged in a search of the vehicle, a partially concealed case full of Coke was discovered in the trunk."

It's not yet known if there was enough Coke to establish that Dr. Pepper was intending to supply others, or if it was simply a personal stash. However, if a sufficient quantity is established to prove that Dr. Pepper is a Coke dealer on the side, there are likely to be serious ramifications.

Industry insiders speculated that Dr. Pepper, who recently got in trouble with the environmental movement over the amount of carbon dioxide released by his products, may not survive this second setback.

With the Rev Al Sharpton at his side, the usually effervescent Pepper was in somber mood at a Sunday news conference. Ashen-faced, he admitted to "secretly taking Coke on a daily basis," adding somberly, "Some mornings I just need Coke to get going. I think people will understand."

Original: http://www.satireandcomment.com/0308pepper.html

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